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Question: I think my husband has asperger's syndrome should i tell him.?

(Posted by: Allie H on 2010-07-06 12:51:55)

I have been reading about asperger's and I think my husband has it He talks slow ina monotone voice and it takes him a long time to say what he is trying to say. Doesn't know how to act normal fact we actually joke about it when we go out if he is gonna act normal because he does try and it is very awkward for everyone.He has always seemed very uncaring and lacking emotion. He is a very smart guy and i know he really does care deeply for his family should I tell him I think he has this? Is it better just for me to know and try to manage are lives with more understanding of him? On the very slight chance he does agree with me he would never see a doctor about it. I understand the comment about me bring the only one to notice. That's not the case.Everyone has always been confused by the things he says or the way he acts.There was a period before we met when he was diagnosed scitzophrenic but he claims he was tired and stressed. I have no reason to think he is scitzophrenic. That is the reason I know he will not go to the dr now.

Posted by: Immy on 2010-07-06, 13:19:52

So despite everyone in his family, his school, his doctor all failing to diagnose this in his junior years. Between 4-12 when Asperger's is normally diagnosed, you, a complete lay-person, with absolutely nothing more than Readers Digest supplement, have in your wisdom discovered that a mature male has Aspeger's. Talk to a doctor if you think he is ill. Quite possibly he is ill. He could just be reacting to you and your behaviour toward him. If everyone who has known him for years before you doesn't think there is anything wrong, then it is far more likely to be a recent illness/ disorder that is causing the problem. This being why it is just you that is noticing it. Not a pre-birth disorder that would have been picked up. Adult diagnosis can take place, but it is an extremely rare and highly complex multi-disciplined diagnosis. Getting him to go to a GP would not get a diagnosis of Asperger's. It may save his life if he has a tumour. He may have a neural infection. There are several other things that I could think of too but you will only look them up and find the guy next-door has that. If YOU are worried, then YOU talk to a GP. They aren't going to laugh at you, at least they can help put your mind at rest.

Posted by: Monica O on 2010-07-06, 12:58:19

You need a doctor to diagnose it, there may be something else wrong with him. I don't want to scare you but I have heard of cases like this that turn out to be tumors in the brain that are blocking certain functions.

Posted by: Andrea on 2010-07-06, 13:30:57

Here I was wondering how you got him to a psychiatrist and got a diagnosis without him knowing..... but you were just self diagnosing. How do you know he's not got Schizoid PD (Schizoid PD, not schizophrenia) - Schizoids do not socialize well because they would rather not, they have flat effect (monotone voice and do not show emotions on their faces), and they lack emotions and can seem cold and aloof, and they tend to be very intelligent..... See he could have Schizoid PD..... there are a dozen disorders that he would "fit ". No one can diagnose him except a doctor. Do not say anything to him. Especially since you say he would not see anyone. Does he NEED to see anyone? Is he distressed by his behavior? How would you feel if he popped up one day and said "By the way, I think you are Bipolar ". Leave it alone. EDIT I didn't say Schizophrenia..... I said Schizoid Personality Disorder, it is an entirely different thing from Schizophrenia (though they share some fo the same symptoms). and if he was diagnosed with Schizophrenia it is because he was having delusions and/ or hallucinations...... They will not diagnose it without one of those...... If you add psychosis to the symptoms you list it could very well be Schizophrenia. The point is you are not qualified to make a diagnosis.