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Question: Seeking advice to improve social skills (inattentive type add)?

(Posted by: MrRyan on 2009-08-18 08:08:34)

I've always had typical signs of inattentive type ADD, but didn't find out that I had inattentive type ADD until I was diagnosed with it until around a year ago. I'm currently 23 and in my senior year in college and am a loner. Most others usually take my quietness the wrong way. It gets frustrating cause people who don't understand why I'm quiet can be jerks sometimes or quick to brush you off. I'm just now begining to realize how important social skills are (believe it or not). What are some options to improve myself in this aspect/ Should I see a counselor or buy a program or visit a website or enroll for something? Thanks

Posted by: Fiyero on 2009-08-18, 08:39:32

I work with children that fall under the autism spectrum (inattentive ADD is extremely common). Usually those kids are identified young and a behavioral modification treatment plan is implemented in hopes that the behavior is controllable in adulthood. The diagnostic criteria for adult inattentive type ADD does not mention marked social problems, however the symptoms can lead to social isolation. My suggestion would be to go see a therapist and address the social problems you are having. It sounds like you have some sort of social phobia, which is easily treatable with psychotherapy and/ or medication. You just have to remember that it takes time and practice before. A similar thing happened to me in my freshmen year in college and I went to see a psychologist along with a psychiatrist which helped me immensely. The type of therapy that I find works the best with social problems is cognative-behavioral therapy. It allows you to see yourself and your behaviours and correct them. As for the ADD, the general inattention that is common for your type can cause worries, anxiety, depression, and sometimes paranoia. I know people who have controlled their ADD without medication, but if it is getting a serious as you say it is I would consider medication if you aren't already on some. I know a lot of people have concerns about medication for ADD, but there are a lot of new meds out there that are either stimulant free or a very mild stimulant and they have been proven to work.

Posted by: Dr. Crystal Fitzpatrick on 2009-08-18, 08:23:26

I think the best option for you may be seeing a mental health professional to discuss your symptoms further so that better treatment options such as social skills coaching can be done. I am not too keen on self-help programs for you specifically, because part of going to see a person helps you practice some of the interactive skills in it of itself. Whereas website or book option, you are left, once again alone. For accurate and easy-to-understand information on mental health and illness, visit: fitzpatrickconsultation.com fitzpatrickconsultation.blogspot.com Hope this was helpful.

Posted by: matt on 2009-08-18, 08:40:35

Seeing a counselor is not a terrible idea. Consider slightly changing your style... Although this will not directly effect your social skills, it may improve your confidence. A new hat, cologne, shoes, pair of jeans. Style is a common piece of conversation. Ex. I like the Cowboys, and sometime wear a cowboys jersey out to social gatherings. I get many comments, good and bad. I am quick to find other Cowboys fans and start convo's with... in turn, developing friends. Once you have developed a little confidence continue to test yourself. Pick and choose the people you test yourself with. You may be able to find some one with similar problems through your school counselor. The two of you could become more familiar with each other, and even develop group confidence.

Posted by: JOE on 2009-08-18, 11:35:41

It's sad to know how much knowledge we have regarding inattentive type ADD, to be honest with you I would watch out with doctors and counselors (no offense) cause sometimes after seeing them you feel worst than before consulting them, I would say just try to be yourself and don't worry if people think of you differently, just know that it's not your fault and try to be yourself by the way you should be proud that you are almost done with college...good luck!!!